So, I might be straight. This…this is news to me.
But a good friend informed me today that someone who wears skirts and bakes cookies can’t be a lesbian.

And I wore a skirt this week… twice! (This is because all my jeans were dirty, but that is beside the point.) And, I baked this week! It was not cookies, but it was cupcakes. Aren’t cupcakes even more domestic and heterosexual? They were vegan cupcakes, though, so maybe that exempts me… cause vegans are always lesbians, right? But, than again, I even own heels. I can’t be gay, can I?

So that settles it. I can’t be attracted to girls… at least not why I own dresses and bake cookies.

You learn new things every day.