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I have never had much luck with weddings… I was hospitalized the first time I was in a wedding, with what turned out to be an allergic reaction to a medicine I’d been taking. Although they let me out in time to appear as my sister’s bridesmaid, I was still so puffy and swollen that I looked a pale blowfish stuffed into an ill-fitting $400 dress, and so drugged up that I don’t remember any of the ceremony (my sister tries very hard not to take this personally).

And then there has been the recent blow of discovering that I am a lesbian, and as such am forbidden to have a wedding of my own. While I was certainly never one of those girls who dreamed about her wedding like the rest of my friends did in college, I still find a few things about this a little disconcerting. For one thing, I have never been one who appreciates any forms of limits being placed on what I can and cannot do, and for another thing, I find it highly unfair that I will never gain back the hundreds of dollars I have spent over the past few years on lingerie that has doubtfully gotten much use and various kitchen supplies that may or many not have gotten marginally more use, depending on the extent of feminism upheld by the brides for which they were purchased.

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